Most of us have been to a wedding and maybe even in a wedding or two. Over the years I’ve been the groom, a co-best man, groomsman, usher, and of course, being a pastor, I’ve officiated at a few. Like most pastors, I have a few stories to tell.
Most of the weddings I’ve officiated went fairly well, though there were a few that could have gone badly. The most memorable event took place during one of my earliest weddings. That was when the bride almost went up in flames. I learned my lesson: Don’t let the bride’s train catch on the free-standing candelabra after lighting the unity candle. Better yet, don’t use free-standing candelabra. There also have been a few weddings that were delayed for one reason or another. In one a bridesmaid got sick on the way to the church and in another a drunk father-of-the-bride disappeared right before the wedding began. Of course, these were the exceptions, not the rule.
This morning, Matthew takes to a wedding scene where the groom’s arrival is delayed. This delay leads to problems for the bridesmaids who are supposed to welcome the groom and then lead him to the wedding banquet. According to Matthew, Jesus tells the parable of the Ten Bridesmaids during Holy Week. It speaks to the delayed arrival of God’s realm in its fullness. Jesus speaks here of preparation and alertness. Be sure to stay prepared for any delay in the groom’s arrival because you don’t want to be locked out of the wedding banquet.
Sometimes Jesus introduces a parable with the words: “The kingdom of heaven is like . . . ” When he uses the word “like” you get the feeling that God’s realm is already present among us. This time, however, Jesus introduces the parable with the words: “The kingdom of heaven will be like this.” Those extra two words remind us that God’s realm isn’t fully present quite yet. Seeds may have been planted, but the harvest isn’t ready. In fact, it’s been delayed.
When we read or watch the news it’s clear that God’s realm is not yet fully present. The question for us is whether we’re prepared for the groom’s delayed arrival. Since the delay has been lengthy, we may get drowsy and fall asleep. That’s to be expected but do we have extra oil to light our lamps when the groom arrives?
According to this parable, ten young unmarried women go out to meet the groom. They take lamps to light the way to the wedding banquet. Unfortunately, when the groom’s arrival is delayed things go awry.
This parable builds on a custom of the day when unmarried young women would escort the groom to the wedding site. The problem arises because as the night wore on and the groom’s arrival was delayed, the women fell asleep. You can’t blame them. They’re only human.
Then at midnight, a cry went out waking them up and letting them know that the groom was about to arrive. So, they got up, lit their lamps, and got ready to lead the groom to the wedding banquet. That was their job. Unfortunately, five of the women were foolish and didn’t bring an extra flask of oil. Their lamps began to go out. The other five were wise enough to bring that extra flask.
Now the foolish five asked their friends to share a bit of oil so they could keep their lamps lit. Their friends who were wise enough to bring that extra flask told them they were sorry but they didn’t have enough oil to share. So they told their unwise friends to go find a store and buy some oil. That’s what the foolish five tried to do, but it was the middle of the night and the stores were closed. By the time they returned, the groom and the five wise attendants had already entered the wedding banquet.
When the Foolish Five arrived, they discovered that the doors were locked. So, like Sheldon Cooper, they knocked on the door and cried out hoping to get the attention of someone on the inside, but it was too late. When the groom finally came to the door, he sent them away. So, they missed their chance to participate in the wedding festivities because they weren’t prepared for the groom’s delayed arrival.
Matthew included this parable because his community was feeling anxious about the delayed arrival of God’s realm. Since we read this story two millennia later knowing that the coming of the realm continues to be delayed, the question facing us is whether we’re prepared for when the realm arrives? In other words, are we like the five wise bridesmaids who have an extra flask of oil available so that when the day arrives we’ll be ready to light our lamps?
The issue here isn’t falling asleep, since all ten women fell asleep. We can’t stay on our toes forever, but we can still be ready for the groom’s arrival. While Matthew suggests that this groom is a bit unpredictable, since we don’t know when he’ll arrive, we can stay prepared for the coming of the realm. This parable reminds us that life doesn’t always go according to our plans so we need to plan for contingencies. That’s why we get vaccinations and purchase insurance.
While we might feel like the wise five should have shared their supplies, this isn’t a story about sharing. It’s a story about preparation and alertness. The church year begins and ends with warnings about the need to be prepared for the coming of God’s realm. Although the future’s details are unknown to us, John the Baptist’s message, like Jesus’ parable, is quite clear. Prepare the way for the coming of the Lord.
We might not know when the wedding banquet will begin, but we don’t want to get shut out. So, be prepared. Have that extra flask of oil close at hand. After all, timing is everything. We can cry out as we knock: “Lord, Lord, open to us.” In the end, according to Jesus, the groom will simply say: “I do not know you.”
Although these words sound harsh and judgmental, which many of us will find disturbing, this parable along with the others that surround it, including the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats, serves as a reminder that judgment is part of the kingdom package. So, even though Jesus offers a word of grace and mercy, he wants us to know that God has high expectations of us.
So how might we stay prepared for the uncertainty that comes with the arrival of God’s realm? What might this extra flask of oil be? The central message here seems to be wisdom. The five wise bridesmaids serve as exemplars. Jesus tells us to be like them and we’ll be prepared.
What does it mean to be wise? This word from the book “Wisdom of Solomon” gives us a hint:
17 The beginning of wisdom is the most sincere desire for instruction,
18 and concern for instruction is love of her,
and love of her is the keeping of her laws,
and giving heed to her laws is assurance of immortality,
19 and immortality brings one near to God,
20 so the desire for wisdom leads to a kingdom. (Wisdom of Solomon 6:17-20).
Yes, the way we stay prepared is to draw on the wisdom of God, and that wisdom comes through instruction. In other words, to be prepared is to continue learning the things of God so we can put them into practice.
It’s easy to lose hope during difficult and challenging times. It seems as if such times are more common than times of peace and security. When we look around at our communities, we see and hear a lot of fear and anger and anguish. People wonder, where might God be in all of this? As the flame of hope begins to flicker and go out in the hearts of many, we may wonder whether we’ve missed something important. The world around us seems dark and foreboding. We know that Jesus promised to bring the realm of God into our midst, but where is it?
We’re not the first people to ask these questions. It seems that in every age, there are people who feel as if the last days are upon us. You never know; the realm may be close at hand. We could spend our time trying to figure out the time and date of its arrival, but we might be better off simply staying prepared for every eventuality. That means keeping the lamp of God’s wisdom always lit so when the time comes we’ll be ready to enter the wedding banquet. If we turn to the Gospel of John we learn that it is the Spirit of God who continually instructs us on the things of God, so let us stay in tune with the Spirit who brings wisdom (Jn 16:12-15). As we do this, we can follow Jesus’ example and plant seeds of God’s realm in our communities.
The coming of the realm might be delayed, but don’t lose faith or hope. Don’t get distracted when bad things happen. Instead, stay true to Jesus’ calling to be his witnesses until the end of the age.
John Buchanan, the former publisher of the Christian Century, writes of the parable:
The point is living expectantly and hopefully. Christian hope rests on trust that the God who created the world will continue to love the world with gentle providence, and will continue the process of creation until the project is complete, and will continue to redeem and save the world by coming into it with love and grace in Jesus Christ. [Feasting on the Word, p. 286]
May we be like the five wise young women and stay prepared by keeping our lamps full of the oil of wisdom. Then, when the time comes, we’ll be ready to accompany the groom to the wedding banquet.
Preached by:
Dr. Robert D. Cornwall
Pulpit Supply
Congregational Church of Birmingham (UCC)
Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
November 12, 2023
Pentecost 24A
Image attribution: Tissot, James, 1836-1902. Foolish Virgins, from Art in the Christian Tradition, a project of the Vanderbilt Divinity Library, Nashville, TN. https://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu/act-imagelink.pl?RC=57765 [retrieved November 11, 2023]. Original source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Brooklyn_Museum_-_The_Foolish_Virgins_(Les_vierges_folles)_-_James_Tissot_(cropped).jpg.
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