We are broken people who live in a broken world. That’s not a message we like to hear, but it’s true. This message is revealed in the opening chapters of Genesis. While things start okay, things go downhill after Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit. After their exile from the garden, one of their sons, Cain, kills his brother Abel because God prefers Abel’s gift over Cain’s. Things get so bad that God, in frustration, decides to send a flood and start over with Noah. But even then, things don’t get much better. That’s just the way things are. Noah and his descendants were just as broken as his ancestors. The problem of brokenness remains part of our reality to this day.
We see this brokenness revealed in our relationships as families, communities, nation, and the world. It’s like a virus that eats away at our inner being. Every aspect of human life seems to be vulnerable to this malignancy of the human spirit. This includes the most intimate of human relationships.
Our reading this morning from Mark’s Gospel speaks to a specific form of brokenness. This form of brokenness is divorce. So, while divorce rates in our country appear to be high, divorce isn’t a new thing. People have been getting married and divorced from time immemorial. So, it’s no wonder that someone might ask Jesus for his thoughts on this matter.
In setting the scene for this conversation about divorce between Jesus and a group of religious leaders, Mark reveals that Jesus has left Galilee, headed toward Judea, and crossed over to the east side of the Jordan. That’s where we find him. Since he was getting closer to Jerusalem, the level of conflict between Jesus and the religious authorities got stronger. The religious authorities want to test Jesus to see if he’s orthodox. They test him by asking a question about marriage and divorce. Because there were at least two different rabbinic positions on the matter of divorce, they wanted to know where Jesus stood. So they ask him whether it’s lawful for a husband to divorce his wife.
Did you catch the way they posed the question? They didn’t ask him whether husbands and wives could get a divorce. They only asked whether it was lawful for a husband to divorce his wife. I invite you to keep this in mind as we go forward.
Because Jesus knew that his examiners knew the law, he turned the question back on them. He asked them: “What does Moses command you?” In other words, what does Torah say about this? They told Jesus that Moses allowed a husband to write a certificate of dismissal and divorce if his wife didn’t please him. It’s not surprising that they spoke of a husband divorcing his wife. After all, this was a patriarchal culture, where a wife was considered to be the property of her husband. And, as one of the Ten Commandments puts it: “Neither shall you covet your neighbor’s wife,” as well as your neighbor’s house, slaves, oxen, donkeys, “or anything that belongs to your neighbor” (Deut. 5:21). Hopefully, husbands no longer view their wives as property, but patriarchal ideas still permeate how our culture views family life.
So, how does Jesus respond? He tells the leaders that Moses made this allowance because of the hardness of human hearts. That is, because humans are broken people, allowances must be made. However, God intended that two people would leave their parents and bind themselves together as one flesh. “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
After his discussion with the religious leaders ended, Jesus and his disciples headed into a house. When they got inside, his disciples asked him to say more about his views on divorce. He told them that when either a husband or wife divorces a spouse and then remarries they commit adultery. By saying this, Jesus seems to agree with Rabbi Shammai’s stricter rabbinic view of divorce. However, Jesus goes beyond Shammai by speaking of wives divorcing their husbands. While this is true, if they remarry, they commit adultery. That breaks another commandment.
When we read Mark’s account, Jesus’ word about divorce seems rather narrow and unforgiving. Even Shammai didn’t take things as far as Jesus. But, perhaps what Jesus does here is raise the bar on the marriage covenant, calling us to pursue the ideal. What is lacking is the healing grace that Paul speaks of in Romans 3, where he tells us that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God; that are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” (Rom 3:23-24). Although we are broken people that isn’t the final word about who we are as God’s people.
I embrace the ideal that marriage is a lifelong covenant relationship. That’s the promise Cheryl and I made to each other more than forty-one years ago. While we’ve had our ups and downs, like any couple, we’ve managed to stay together. I know that some of you have been married a lot longer than we have, so you’ve had more time to experience the ups and downs that go with marriage.
Unfortunately, not every marriage lasts a lifetime. Even with the best of intentions, some relationships end up so broken they can’t be saved. When a broken relationship can’t be healed, then divorce is often the only alternative.
Jesus seems to acknowledge that divorce is a possible ending to a marriage, but then he adds this word about remarriage. The Gospel of Matthew adds an exception to the rule that is revealed in Mark 10. In Matthew, Jesus rules out divorce and remarriage unless there is unchastity on the part of one of the people (Matthew 19:1-9). Matthew’s version seems a bit more gracious!
Churches have based their marriage and divorce policies on Jesus’ words. Many have taken a hard line on the matter. Some churches refused to welcome divorced people into their midst. Others refuse to offer them communion. They may refuse to marry people who have been divorced. They all point back to this passage as their foundation.
I wonder if there isn’t another way for the church to respond to this expression of human brokenness. In other words, can’t we hold up the ideal of a lifelong marriage covenant while still extending God’s healing grace to those who are divorced? Here is the way I’ve resolved the question. I affirm the traditional vows, where couples covenant to love and cherish each other, in riches and poverty, until death separates them. However, could we view divorce as the moment when a marriage relationship has died? It’s not the people who die, it’s the relationship. Therefore, death has separated the two people from each other. If this is true, then the only thing a person can do is grieve the loss of something that had been precious. While it may take time to heal, I believe God's grace can heal the people involved. They might even experience reconciliation, even if the marriage can’t be restored.
I view this question through a particular lens. While Cheryl and I haven’t divorced, I am the child of divorce. I’ve also watched friends who are faithful Christians experience divorce. Some of them have not only remarried, but the second marriage has thrived. That is, in my mind, a sign that God’s healing grace can mend broken lives.
The message I find revealed in Scripture is that God is at work in our midst, seeking to reconcile us to Godself and to one another through Christ our Lord. It’s not just marriage relationships that get broken. So, whatever the nature of the relationship, God can and does mend our broken lives. It is a gift of grace.
Since this is World Communion Sunday, even if we won’t be gathering at the Table, we can reflect on the meaning of this annual observance. World Communion Sunday serves to remind us that despite the brokenness that marks the Christian community, the Table stands as a sign of our unity in Christ. Unfortunately, Christians haven’t figured out how to fully embody this message. The Table of Unity remains a Table of separation. So, there is still work to be done to live into that ideal.
But it’s not just the Christian community that experiences brokenness. The word itself is marked by brokenness. The mission statement of my denomination declares that we are a “movement of wholeness in a fragmented world. As part of the one Body of Christ, we welcome all to the Lord’s Table as God has welcomed us.” While this is a denominational mission statement, I think it’s broad enough that I can share it here in a Presbyterian Church. We may live in a fragmented world, but there is still hope for something better.
Our reading doesn’t end with this word about divorce, which seems awfully harsh. Instead, it ends with a word about Jesus blessing children. According to Mark, sometime after Jesus finished teaching his disciples about divorce, he blessed the children that parents brought to him. Although his disciples tried to fend off the parents, once again Jesus overruled them and embraced the little ones. I think that this story of inclusion and blessing is a fitting end to a conversation about the healing of broken relationships.
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